Adventure #10 -- Hiking is fine, but walking in the woods is better

So, my latest adventure occurred on Saturday. I went hiking in the Laurel Snow State Natural Area with a group of friends. I think a natural area is a park without a welcome center, but I'm not really sure, because I pretty much just made that up.

Anyway, if you know me, you know that I frequently describe myself as an "indoor-kid". This is not really that accurate. I love being outside, if by outside you mean "sitting on my screened-in porch whilst sipping a cocktail". That said, I really do not like hiking. Yeah, yeah, fall back in horror, clutching your tie-dye, ya hippie. Hiking, to me, involves rapidly walking through the woods, up and down a bunch of hills that all look the same, until finally reaching some destination. Wow, what fun.

Screw that.

I am a much bigger fan of walking in the woods. Walking in the woods involves meandering and taking time to actually look at all that nature. I don't understand how people can walk briskly, not trip over rocks/roots, and still manage to enjoy looking around them all at the same time. Maybe I'm clumsier and slower than the average person (likely), but I am not going out into the woods so that I can look at my feet the whole time. I am going so that I can look at how pretty it is outside. If that makes me too "slow" ... well... this is why I don't go hiking, because I'm always slow.

I grew up around streams that looked just like this.
I love them and they make me happy.

Next order of business: I will never again be tricked into hiking to a waterfall. People are obsessed with waterfalls. That's good for them, but I would just as soon hike next to a river or stream. Here's the sordid truth about waterfalls, people: It turns out that waterfalls occur when water actually falls off of something far up in the air down to something below.

This is it. Laurel Falls. It was actually awesome to haul my nearly-dead ass
up that damned mountain and turn a final corner and see this.

The more impressive the waterfall, the greater the change in elevation. You know what that means? If someone wants you to go on a hike to a waterfall, it pretty much means you're going to be climbing a freaking mountain or descending into a valley, after which you will be forced to climb back up the mountain to get back to your car.

I made it! Adventure Jacket™ helped!

THAT SAID. If you like hiking up mountains to get to waterfalls, or if you like walking in the woods slowly next to a gorgeous stream, Laurel Snow has it all. It is ridiculously beautiful, and there is not a time of year I can think of that would be bad to visit. I would really love to go back with some like-minded walkers who want to have a fancy picnic next to the stream rather than hauling ass up that mountain. That would be lovely.

Adventure #9 -- The Four Agreements

So, a few years ago I went through a self-help book phase. Nothing has really stuck with me, particularly, except one of the four agreements in The Four Agreements. This book is a little bit in the woo-woo mystical healing powers of crystals genre, but it makes really good points, one of which I need to remind myself of periodically:

Agreement #2: Don't Take Anything Personally.

I don't know about you, but I really struggle with this. I'm a fairly type-A, highly achieving, gold-star seeking person. Those gold stars are important, y'all, and if someone gives me negative feedback or seems like they are in a bad mood, I immediately jump on the unhealthy rumination train. "Did I do something wrong? Do they not like me? If they don't like me, is it because they are a jerk? Or is it because they think I'm stupid/lazy/incompetent?" You know how it goes, maybe.

"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world."

"When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. You also try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions. In the same way, whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream, a reflection of your own agreements. What you say, what you do, and the opinions you have are according to the agreements you have made-- and these opinions have nothing to do with me."

How much easier would my life be if I took fewer things personally. It is really never about me.

Adventure #8-- Decorating the porch

I was wandering around pinterest the other day, like ya do, and came across this photo of a porch:

If you know anything about me, you will know that I am not particularly creative. I recognize things I like, but if you were waiting for me to come up with a porch design like this, you'd be waiting a long damn time. This porch belongs to a designer named Melinda Jennings, who writes a blog about pretty things she is doing to her house. I want this porch for my very own.

Boys and girls, our porch currently looks like gaping butt. It's a good sized screened-in back porch that I like very much, but the people who put the porch on our house cheaped out. There are several problems with the porch, including but not limited to:

1. The builder did not use pressure treated lumber, so the boards holding up the screen are warped.
2. The untreated lumber was primed but not painted, and is not doing so well in places. I painted a lot of it before it got too cold outside to paint, but in some places the damage is already done.
3. They didn't put a ceiling on. Yeah, there's a roof, but not a ceiling. I'm thinking bead board. Someday.
4. They used an interior fan, not one that is made to go outside-- so now it is rusty, falling apart, and broken. Classy.
5. The screen door that goes from the porch out to the deck is literally falling apart.

As far as porch furniture goes, we have two wicker chairs, two wicker ottomans/tables, and one wicker love-seat.

So... basically blank slate. I'm going to start by painting the furniture black.

Then... get cushions, an outdoor rug, a large urn-shaped planter, plants, and accessories. I've been eying  these cushions on overstock. com:

Not exactly the same as the picture, but similar concept.

Since I don't have a spare $500 lying around just begging to be spent on porch accessories, I'm thinking the porch decorating process will be an ongoing one. Right now I'm working on something small that will go out there...

Bee needlepoint. Beedlepoint? 

This will be a little pillow someday. I haven't needlepointed in ages, but I did all of this yesterday. Needlepointing is so soothing. The background is going to be a variety of greens, and the bees will be pale yellow, dark teal, and coral. I'll put up a pic once it's done.

Adventure #7-- Signing up for Flylady

She's apparently really into fly fishing. The things one learns...

Today I signed up for flylady. If you don't know about flylady, it's a daily email newsletter about little 15 minute projects you can do each day to keep your house de-cluttered and clean. I'm pretty sure doing flylady projects is going to be one of my new years resolutions. I'm going to try to do the projects over the next couple of weeks and then make my resolution decision.

I used to think that clutter, messiness, and dirty houses were the work of the devil. I also used to dust my baseboards every week. Several years ago I bought two large housekeeping books and read them cover to cover out of pleasure. I judged people who lived in gross, dirty, messy houses.

Then, just like so many things in my life, it all went out the window when I started studying for the CPA exam. In fact, JJ and I got into a bit of an argument over it a couple months ago, which we resolved by each getting a room in the house that we "owned"... his is the office, which is so perfectly neat and clean that you can see the tracks in the carpet from where he has vacuumed it. I am not allowed to mess up the office in any way.

Artist's representation of JJ's room. Except the pen cup and other
 items on the desk represent inappropriate levels of clutter. 

My room is the guest bedroom (aka "CPA studying central/ filth hovel") and, during the time I studied, was usually a disgusting heap of clothes that needed to be hung up, dirty dishes, test prep materials, papers, notebooks, and blankets. The rest of the house stayed fairly neat. Any clutter or mess I produced elsewhere came home to roost in my filth hovel at the end of the day. I cleaned the filth hovel once every week or two, though I was pretty good about bringing dirty dishes to the dishwasher on a daily basis. No matter what my filth hovel looked like, JJ was not allowed to fuss at me about it in any way.

Artist's representation of my filth hovel. JJ is the irritable looking bear on the left.

Well, the days of the filth hovel are limited.

The more time goes by since I passed the CPA exam, the more I feel like my old highly tidy and neurotic self again. Today I put everything in the house (including in my filth hovel) away, even though we aren't having guests. I might even dust the baseboards later.

The impetus to sign up for flylady came as I was reading this article on lifehacker about how to clean your house in 15 minutes or less. It's not *actually* cleaning, obviously, just decluttering and wiping down surfaces. The responses exploded with "that's not possible!" "oh yeah, maybe 15 minutes per room!" and all kinds of nay-saying. I was pretty shocked, because I honestly think I could "clean" my house in 15 minutes these days, if only I had motivation and direction. So flylady it is.

Adventure #6-- Pajama day

Sloth: the cutest of all the deadly sins.

Today I did almost nothing. I slept until 10 a.m. I got out of bed and migrated to the couch to check facebook. I ate a toaster waffle. Some time later I ate leftover pasta. I snuggled with the kitties. I worked on the stocking I'm making for my niece for a little while. I ate some candy. I stalked the internet more. I remained in my pajamas. JJ woke up and we hung out for a while.

Around 6 p.m. I finally took a shower. Then I painted my nails. I went to choir an hour later. I have returned home from choir, reattached my ass-end to the couch and am now tossing back a glass of wine. The only useful things I've done today around the house are one load of laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and making the bed. However, I count today to be an epic success, though perhaps in a peculiar way.

Story time: When JJ and I first moved to town, I didn't have a job for several weeks. I joked that I was a trophy wife (which, if you know me at all, is slightly absurd) and that I was going to swan around town doing trophy wife things. Yeah, that ended when I basically had a complete meltdown because I hated having so much free time. At that point in my life, about a year and a half ago, I spent all that free time becoming neurotic and anxious rather than enjoying myself. So I got a part-time job, took four classes, got crazy involved with a ton of stuff, and had zero free time. Then I finished school, studied for and took the CPA exam and got a second job. I have never enjoyed free time or "relaxing" and in the past found it to be annoying at best.

Fast forward to last month... I quit one of my jobs (the "regular" one) the week before Thanksgiving in anticipation of having to restudy for a section of the CPA exam before I started my new job in January. Turns out I passed that section of the CPA exam (and the next one!), so I'm now on a six week pseudo vacation. I work a day or two a week at my remaining job, and have the rest of the week to myself. JJ is working crazy pre-Christmas hours, so I barely see him. When I found out that I passed the section of the CPA exam that I presumed I had failed, I actually got worried about having all that free time.

I don't know what is so different between the "today" me and the "year and a half ago" me, but instead of finding this free time stressful and neurosis-amplifying, I am enjoying the daylights out of it. Possibly because I know my time off will end soon and will be followed by working at a job with extremely long hours? I don't know, but I thought I'd write about today because although on the outside it was nothing remarkable to you or to me or to my life, it has been a very good day on the first vacation during which I've actually been able to relax in my whole life. I'm enjoying it immensely.

Adventure #5-- Put a Bird on It

Women in my family make things. My sister has the Christmas tree skirt my great grandmother made. I'm resting my feet on a footstool that my grandmother needlepointed. My mother was in a crafts-of-the-month club in the 70s/early 80s (who knew those existed?), and growing up, our house was filled with wooden boxes she painted or decoupaged,  our Christmas tree with ornament she sewed. She can re-cane chairs, sew doll clothes, needle-point, and cross stitch, and do all kinds of other crafty things.

I'm not really artsy or craftsy. I don't have the patience or the desire to be, for the most part. Yet year after year, as I previously mentioned, I get involved in overblown Christmas crafts projects. (I also like to needlepoint. But that's different. It's the color-by-numbers of crafts.)

Well, this year is probably going to be no different. I have an overblown project that I won't post about until after Christmas, since I don't want to ruin the surprise.

However. I decided to make something for myself, and for posterity (ha!)....

The super cute felt bird ornament kit I ordered from amazon for 10 bucks. 

What the finished product is supposed to resemble.

Birdie Numero Uno in real life!

I decided to start with the red bird. It looked easiest to complete. Two wings and an ear muff arrangement. A beak. I haven't really sewn anything since I had a random burst of craftiness in the 8th grade or so. I had to relearn some stitches, and had to FINALLY teach myself how to do that damned French knot. It's actually not that difficult once you get the hang of it.

"My, what nice French knots you have, my dear!"
"If you love the wings, you should check out the earmuff!"

So, I have finished red bird. It took a while. 45 minutes? An experienced sewer/crafter could probably get an ornament like this done in 15-20 minutes. This same company has a ton of other similar skill level ornament kits that I might order. We'll see if I'm still gung-ho after I finish the other birds. It is highly unlikely, but I'm enjoying this project while it lasts. Maybe I'll save the other kits for other years.

Adventure #4-- Domesticity

As y'all know, I'm on a break from studying for the CPA exam. I am waiting for the score on my last section. Whether or not I passed it, I at least have a few weeks off to get stuff done around the house before I start my new job in January.

Not all my adventures are flashy. Today, for instance, was just a day of doing chores at home.  Today I did two big things: I polished silver and I made a chicken pot pie.

Middle= polished. Other two= tarnished. 

I have my grandmother's tea set. It lives on a tray in my kitchen. I polish it a couple times a year. I always notice it getting tarnished, but it's not a big flashing obvious level of tarnish unless you compare it with a polished piece. I always polish the set during Christmas vacation, so the act of polishing it makes me feel like Christmas is imminent. When my sister and I were kids, we used to polish our mother's silver for extra money to spend on our american girl dolls. Good times. I love polishing silver. It's instant gratification in a world where instant gratification is so rare.

My other job for the day was to make a pot pie.

What a pretty under-layer you have, my dear.

NOM NOM NOM NOM

I'm getting better at making the pretty edge on pie crusts. 

Since I've finished these two tasks, and celebrated them by eating a slice of chicken pie the size of my head, I've mainly been sitting in bed, playing on the internet, and snuggling with the kitties. Peep is politely sleeping on my freezing cold feet. He's good for that.

I'm not really sure what I'm going to do for the rest of the week. I know I need to keep myself busy, or I'll get all weird and nervous. No one wants that.

Back in the day, before I went back to school or started studying for the CPA exam, I used to do slightly ridiculous Christmas projects to give out as presents. In college, I made decoupage boxes one year, 13 dozen peanut butter cookies another year (this was 10 years ago and only recently have I been able to eat peanut butter cookies without becoming nauseated), slippers with sequin monograms another year, etc. One year I made peppermint bark for 30 people. Some of my projects have been complete failures too-- the overly-soft bon bon debacle of 2010 comes to mind.

I think I've come up with a plan for what I'm going to do this year if, in fact, I do anything. I'm feeling a trip to Michael's. We'll see what happens, and I'll keep you posted.