Adventure #9 -- The Four Agreements

So, a few years ago I went through a self-help book phase. Nothing has really stuck with me, particularly, except one of the four agreements in The Four Agreements. This book is a little bit in the woo-woo mystical healing powers of crystals genre, but it makes really good points, one of which I need to remind myself of periodically:

Agreement #2: Don't Take Anything Personally.

I don't know about you, but I really struggle with this. I'm a fairly type-A, highly achieving, gold-star seeking person. Those gold stars are important, y'all, and if someone gives me negative feedback or seems like they are in a bad mood, I immediately jump on the unhealthy rumination train. "Did I do something wrong? Do they not like me? If they don't like me, is it because they are a jerk? Or is it because they think I'm stupid/lazy/incompetent?" You know how it goes, maybe.

"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world."

"When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong. You also try hard to be right by giving them your own opinions. In the same way, whatever you feel and do is just a projection of your own personal dream, a reflection of your own agreements. What you say, what you do, and the opinions you have are according to the agreements you have made-- and these opinions have nothing to do with me."

How much easier would my life be if I took fewer things personally. It is really never about me.