Adventure #19-- Hot Yoga

I have done a fair amount of yoga in my life-- a couple years ago I was doing about three classes a week for months in a row. I got to the point where I noticed a change in my body and my skill level. I hate exercising with a fiery passion, but yoga has been the one thing I've done repeatedly because I enjoy it. I've done four or five different types of yoga, but never hot yoga. Yoga in the noog is a lot more spendy than yoga in other places I've lived, so I leapt on the living social deal for a month unlimited at the hot yoga place as a chance to get back into it.  

So, I went for the first time ever today.... 

.... and an extremely perky lady named Blair tried to kill us all with a "yoga" routine developed by what I can only image to be superhuman robot people with arms, legs, and cores made out of titanium and sorcery. 

Artist's representation of Blair.
"Just breathe into the pose. Now we're going to hold it for 10 more breaths."
Editor's Note: 10 breaths = at least three hours

I know it's hot yoga, but the room was approximately the temperature of the surface of the sun. Chattanooga is not known for being a cold place in July, but I felt a little chilly walking out of the lesson. Needless to say, I was sweating by the time I sat down on my mat. I wore shorts, which was a BIG mistake. Any sort of pose where you have to rest a sweaty arm on a sweaty leg? Danger, Will Robinson! (Though I'm happy to say this is an excellent excuse to buy over-priced yoga pants that will completely cancel out any savings brought about by going to groupon yoga classes).

But seriously? Some of those poses? Woah. Things I have never even heard of! It started well. It was just an intense flow yoga. That surely would ease up at some point? Right? Right?! 

Then it kept getting harder. I did my best to keep going, and I didn't cry or throw up. That's about all I can say for myself. I think that's what yoga is about, just doing what you can.  That being said....

Artist's representation of me, with 20 minutes still left in the class.

...it was by far the hardest workout I've ever had in my life. And somehow pretty much everyone else in the class was some sort of yoga master. Bitches were doing inversions. Maybe they are part of the superhuman robot people race.

All that said, I might be a masochist, but I'm totally going back on Saturday if I'm able to walk again by then. I feel fantastic and accomplished. But if I don't look like Heidi Klum by the end of this month, I want my $49 back.